Winter 2011
EVENTS

Dance with Your Fears

Coping with Crisis

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Fear Can Strengthen You

"There is a concept in the professional literature called – "dancing with our fears." Why do we have to learn to dance with our fears? Because it makes us stronger." How?

According to Eran, each event in our lives is transformed into a learning experience. What we cull from it, and the speed with which we ingest the information varies from person to person, but in the end we are learning to cope in an adaptive or maladaptive way.

We divide each learning experience or stimulus in our world into good and bad, automatically. Young children (hopefully) learn that putting their fingers into an electric socket is 'bad' or 'dangerous.' And, as a result, young children, and adults as well, will learn to avoid things that are categorized as 'bad' or 'dangerous.'

What do we do with situations that upset or frighten us? We usually avoid them. But if we would like to cope with modern life we need to differentiate between fearful and dangerous. Many things that we fear are not dangerous. For instance, more people are afraid of flying than just about anything else, yet many of them will still fly. Why?

"I've learned that pressure, the pressure of acceding to avoidance, for example, or the pressure associated with stress," Eran explains "does not stay the same forever. Physiologically there is an immediate nerve reaction to stress or anxiety, yet that reaction does not remain the same, the nerve has to 'rest' and as it does the body begins to calm down."

When we identify danger (or perhaps even think of danger) there is a reaction in the sympathetic nervous system. Generally it will mobilize the body's resources under stress. This system is the actual system that releases energy and prepares the body for action – flight, freeze or fight response. After a period of time, the body then typically restores itself back to normal. This is the nature of the nervous system.

Once the body begins to calm down, then the fear level declines. That is assuming that you have not responded by fleeing. As such, slowly but surely you learn not to be afraid or not to fear being afraid. And as you learn not to be afraid, then you are strengthening your store of knowledge. People who do not confront their fears – perhaps have run away – do learn that fleeing is the way to cope, and concurrently are learning to run away from their feelings of fear. For these people, they do not develop any internal processes for dealing with difficulties.

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